My gods, what a week! So I did nothing until thursday... but on Thursday I started my volunteering, which was fun. Then I decided to walk into town... bad idea, as it ended up being 7 kilometres! And I walked both ways!! (I soo need a cell phone >_<
Then that night my Great-aunt Karen took me to a party for one of her friends where I made a friend of my own (I know, shock!) and was actually social - I don't know what the hell got into me that night 
Then, on friday, Dad, my cousin John (who's 20) went up to Port Hardy, where a lot of my native family is. They're the ones I kinda grew up knowing as his family, though they're only kinda.. anyway, it was very squishy as my Dad's truck is an old ford ranger.. not a lot of room. But, it was worth it because we went to my cousin's wedding. Stephanie is one of the nicest people I know, and I'm really glad we made it. I actually spoke at the reception, too! After all the planned speeches were done they made the mic open to anyone with something 'short and sweet' to say, so I kinda had an internal battle and went up and said: "Stephanie has never been anything but kind to anyone and no one deserves a happy, successful marriage more than her."
The next day we went in to town to watch some fireworks (there's something going on in 'Hardy.. filomi days or something weird like that.) and we saw her and she said I made her cry! I'm like awwn.. and she also said she knew how much courage it took me, 'cause I don't like speaking in public at all. That day we also went and visited with my Uncle Glenn, who I never really remember from my childhood, but he's a nice guy. Anyway, we were talking about the treaties (which for those who don't know is the goverment trying to negotiate with the native bands for returns of land in exchange for giving up status rights and other things like that.) and Glen said that on our side we don't really have anyone with the proper training, and if they do then they are more caring about the money.
It reminded me of something my mom had said to me - that we all complain about it, but no one does - no one can do anything about it.
So, I got thinking.. if I can do something about it, shouldn't I? I'm appalled by the way these 'negotiations' are taking place - they've got fully trained lawyers, whereas we have people with gr. 9 or 10 education!
So, if I have the ability and the intelligence to make a difference, I should, right?
Anyway, I was already planning on taking Law 12 next year, and if it agrees with me, then I'm thinking of taking education to be a lawyer.
I'd love to be an anthropologist, but I don't think I could live with myself knowing that I could've made a difference, and didn't for my own selfish reasons..
The wedding itself also made me think. I've always maintained that I don't need anyone else to be happy, but now I'm not so sure. Then again, there's not much I can do about this one. Everyone I've met of the opposite gender seems to either hate me, be afraid of me, or just plain not attracted.
*sigh* Whatever. I guess I'll be fine, but it certainly did make me think.
You guys are all probably wondering about my journal title. My dad was looking at an album or something and it had some quotes in it. one of them was "Families are like fudge. It's mostly sweet, but there's always a few nuts." And then my dad goes "we've got some nutty fudge.." and he explained it and I laughed my head off, because it's true - our family is, like so many native families, really huge and really screwed up.
Finally, we have a house! It's in Mission BC, my parents get to move in on the 1st. Apparently it's just the top floor, but meh. Just hopefully Yasha gets along with the downstairs neighbour cat. But, uh, I'm not going back until like 5 days before the end of summer It's 5km from one school and 3km from the other, but the 5km one sounds better, so I'll just have to wait and see.
And, that's it.
Quote of the day: "To love someone deeply gives you strength. Being loved by someone gives you courage."
-Lao Tzu
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Some Nutty Fudge 
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Devious Comments
Yeah, I've been thinking on the matter of the opposite gender a bit too... and I've decided that if a dude asks me out and I like him, well, I'm damn well saying yes, even if I'm scared and stuff.
Heh; I think I know where Mission is now. I think I saw it when I was looking at google maps the other day trying to figure out where the hell Burnaby was in relation to N. Vancouver.
--
Walking on two legs has nothing to do with intelligence. - Lord Kayoss
Unless of course, I happen to meet a nice guy who's NOT related to me, as half the people I meet while on holidays here I am related to.
Mission is north across the river from Abby.
Google maps rules.
--
"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."
'Are you saying we shouldn't hope?'
"I'm saying we should remove the carrot and walk forward with our eyes open"
--
[link] My fantasy writing account.
Ohn tetsu mho feldheraaren.
--
"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."
'Are you saying we shouldn't hope?'
"I'm saying we should remove the carrot and walk forward with our eyes open"
--
I surport: ~Wolf---Fan-ArtClub
Anyhew... it sounds like you've been doing some very serious thinking. It would be good if you could do something to help. It's not an easy mountain to climb though. (Are there any easy mountains to climb? Would it COUNT as a mountain if it were easy?
Don't worry too much about the whole guy thing. It'll happen when it happens.
--
If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days. ~Sylvia Plath, The Bell Jar
--
"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."
'Are you saying we shouldn't hope?'
"I'm saying we should remove the carrot and walk forward with our eyes open"
--
Walking on two legs has nothing to do with intelligence. - Lord Kayoss
--
"Hope is the denial of reality. It is the carrot dangled before the draft horse to keep him plodding along in a vain attempt to reach it."
'Are you saying we shouldn't hope?'
"I'm saying we should remove the carrot and walk forward with our eyes open"
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