Monday April 6th, 2009
Today four people talked to me!  I was so amazed – maybe people are starting to notice me more? One of them was this really cute guy, too!  I also only got bumped into twice, and one of the people actually said sorry instead of just ignoring me like usual. It really does seem like things are looking up, so I’ll keep working hard.
I grinned happily, put the battered journal on my night table and switched off the lamp. I’d been keeping a journal for 3 years now, since I was thirteen and we moved from our old town to a new one closer to the coast. Usually it was just filled with sadness and pain, but today was actually quite positive. It may seem sad, to be so happy about people noticing me, but for some reason they just don’t. It’s not that I’m ugly or anything... I have long wavy hair that’s the same shade of brown as my eyes and an alright figure. I just don’t get seen. People bump into me, or try to sit on me, just because they can’t see me. I’ve also almost been hit by cars when crossing the road many times. It wasn’t always like this, I had friends as a child, but they all drifted away when I moved. Since then, I’d been by myself. Eating lunch alone, sitting silently in class and working. When we did partner projects, I’d always ask the teacher to do them by myself. They must feel sorry for me or something, because they always consented. My parents never asked about my friends or how school was, just if I was getting good grades – they expected A’s and wouldn’t take no for an answer. So, I just worked and worked to please them and since I had nothing else to do anyway. It was my life.  It wouldn’t change much, even when I went to university, since I’d still be living with them. I’d gotten used to my singular existence, but it didn’t mean I had to like it. I desperately wanted to make friends, but it just didn’t happen. I’d speak and people just wouldn’t hear me, or would look shocked and then go back to whatever they were doing. Something had to change soon, right? That was my last depressing thought before I drifted off to sleep mercifully.